While we attempt to figure out how this whole InterWebTM thingie works, you can:
That way the Useless News THAT YOU NEED can be accessed at any time or sent to your email or crackberry!
Lemme make sure I'm not wasting time here... bcwhite will remove pkgs that havent been fixed that have outstanding bugs of severity "important". True or false? jim: "important" or higher. True. Then we're about to lose ftp.debian.org and dpkg :) * netgod will miss dpkg -- it was occasionally useful We still have rpm.... -- Seen on #Debian

Useless Factoid:
The
Internet Quality Task Force has reported that the worst internet connections are found at
Your House.
EXTRA SLEAZY
by the Parents Website Advisory Board
c2008 Useless.com
Congress Website Melts Down Under Weight of Citizen Comments [You have the right to free speech, as long as you don't try to use it]
How Strong is Your Bank? Look it up and see [If it shows 3 stars or less, consider moving your money to a stronger bank]
NASA's Newest $2 Billion Mars "SUV" May Have to be Scrapped [Seems like they couldn't keep up with the payments, so here comes the repo man]
Skype Spying on Chinese User Chats [Thoughtcrime does not entail death. Thoughtcrime IS death.]
The Dead Can Still Vote in Connecticut [They're about the only ones not turned off by all the negative campaigning]
Pirates of the Somalia Continue to Act in a Most un-DiCaprio-like Fashion [Capt. Jack will get you high tonight]
How To Use The Toilets in Japan, If You're a Woman [If you're a man, just aim in any random direction, just like you do at home]
Tina Fey and Queen Latifah "re-interpret" the VP debate on SNL [They should have hosted the original debate too]
McCain's Brother Calls Parts of Virginia "Communist Country" [Dept. of Heavily-armed Wingnuts]
Virgins in Albania: No, it's not an oxymoron [Dept. of Pissing off the Albanians]
Who would really want to watch footage of someone's breast enhancement surgery? Oh, it's Anna Nichole's? Hell yeah, count us in!
The Pope Says We're All a Bunch of Godless Heathens; Blames Modern Culture [Is he running a Church...or a legal defense service for pedophiles?]
$700 Billion For Wall Street; Nothing For Addie Polk's Life [Maybe George Metesky had the right idea...]
Palin Says Obama is Buddies With Terrorists [Opinions are like assholes, everybody's got one]
How Silly Is It Getting At Sportscaster ESPN? They're now televising HIGH SCHOOL games!?! [Next up: The World Tiddlywinks Challenge]
Dopey Laptop Thief Tripped Up By Online Porn Addiction [America's Least Wanted]
Is It The Virgin Mary...or Just a Dirty Window [The answer to "Do people have anything better to do with their time?" must be NO]
The ELVIS IS ALIVE Museum is Finally Leaving the Building [Thank you very much]
Relatives Beat Couple to Death in Bizarre Anti-smoking Ritual [That'll teach you not to smoke!]
Now We Have Poisoned Milk Powder [NESTLE makes the very best]
Some Alaskans Cringe at What Comes Out of Palin's Mouth [Imagine the Church Lady in charge of the country]